I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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