my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
