Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
