You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
