5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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