i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
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