At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
