Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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