My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize