i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
