WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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