dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
