New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize