i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
