I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
