would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Randomize