she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
