yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
