Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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