3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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