I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
