Joe is yelling at the trees again.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
