U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
