I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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