How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
