and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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