Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
