I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
