He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
tell me about the fingering
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