Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize