I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
