I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
