she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
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