I bet he comes in French.
it hurts more in the daytime
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
