i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
