I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
