I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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