Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
