I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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