Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
