Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
