I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
where does the pee come out of this thing
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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