So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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