Even water is tasting like jack daniels
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
