what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
