Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
