I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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