Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
