I can tuck mytits in my pants
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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