He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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