I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
