I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
