I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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