Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
