I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
