I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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