blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
