Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Randomize
