i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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